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HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN CALIFORNIA? 1. Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible. 2. You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house. 3. You are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English. 4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, is named Breeze. 5. You can't remember...is pot illegal? 6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor. 7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian. 8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula. 9. A really great parking space can move you to tears. 10. A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast. 11. Gasoline costs 75 cents per gallon more than anywhere else in the US. 12. A man is in full leather regalia and crotch-less chaps. You don't even notice. 13. The guy at 8:30am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney *is* George Clooney. 14. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment. 15. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S&M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag. 16. It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about 'STORMWATCH 2000.' 17. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks, himself, is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class. 18. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers. 19. It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents. 20. You *and* your dog have therapists. *** Vitaliy O. Grinberg *** [a.k.a. Myp] *** e-mail: vitaliy@grinberg.net *** *** WWW Home Page: http://www.grinberg.net/vitaliy/ ***
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